actually, I'm a sock model
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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