You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
