He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The Olympian is in my bed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
