I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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