Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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