I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
pop tarts are not kleenex
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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