Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
