my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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