wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
