And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
