haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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