I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
