I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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