I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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