I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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