hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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