I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
