Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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