oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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