Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
