Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
