I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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