i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
