Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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