I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
