dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
