Who wears a wallet chain?!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
