im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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