Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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