He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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