Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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