Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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