how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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