drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize