Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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