Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
