I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
