Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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