I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
40s are totally the cure
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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