We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
