omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
