hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
