I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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