I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
