I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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