Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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