The brown eye won't let me do that either.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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