Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
