One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
