She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
