You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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