I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
