Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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