I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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