Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
