Please, let me fuck your mom
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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