I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
