True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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