3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize