Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
