I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
