can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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