I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
