Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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